Stephanie Sugars
zone

All will be well and all will be well and every kind of thing shall be well.” (Julian of Norwich)

peace, ease, release, be love.

tension, fear, adventure, companionship, fart of poop, commode.

ativan, uneven loud breathing, not eating.

shit is my earthly focus, no coverage for nights and thanksgiving and two days around. Paid caregivers turn up.

Know my care circle members will not be able to stay around the hospital bedside (due today between noon & 2).

Paid caregivers will come to care for me.

Yet, when I'm more actively dying and have lost conscious, more circle members and close beloveds...

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  Stephanie Sugars
Alive & teetering


Thus began 3 days of heaven and hell.

Riding the edge as my body breaks down more and more.

Altered states.

Intimacy grows with god running divine energy through my many caregivers. I change energy patterns every few hours.

Wow!

sending love, Stephanie

Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine
Volume 2013 (2013), Article ID 740291, 14 pages
http://dx.doi.org/10.1155/2013/740291
Research Article
Attachment Theory and Spirituality: Two Threads Converging in Palliative Care?
Cécile Loetz,1 Jakob Müller,2 Eckhard Frick,3 Yvonne Petersen,4 Niels Christian Hvidt,1,5,6 and Christine Mauer1

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  Stephanie Sugars
Alive, well, physically ill

Been a whirlwind of a week and regaining some semblance of sanity, love, coherence and emotional balance has been challenging

Election results only compounded things for me.

Beloved friends shore me up with personal care and stories that sustain life, love and faith.

Thanks for all who showed up via email, phone and personal visits and continued thoughts, wishes, meditations and prayers for healing for our beloved communities and earth.

Connection is my real addiction.

Learning is a pathway to connection.

Reaching out, offering, with both hands to all readers, all sentient beings, all who ever...

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  Stephanie Sugars
Expanded election collection - blessings within brokenness

Friend's altar. Being seen and held in love and doing same for others is healing.

xox

You Want It Darker, Leonard Cohen

September 21, 1934 – November 7, 2016

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0nmHymgM7Y

xox

Prayer:

The election is over, and life goes on.

We will keep bearing witness to the One Being.

We will keep honoring the legacies of the prophets and prophetesses of all lands.

We will keep revering the sacredness of the Earth.

We will keep following the way of remembrance which all religions share.

We will keep pursuing justice for all people.

We will keep recognizing people of all races and...

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  Stephanie Sugars
Choose love over fear today

Sea otters, because of their lusciously warm, soft and thick pelts, were hunted nearly to extinction on N. America's Pacific coast. Their population has revived in parts of California (try Point Lobos south of Carmel), but are still threatened in Oregon. Sea otters are agile, playful, cute and deeply relational!

May all be as joyful!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyFAyUM-aso

xox

Together we are stronger, more resilient, lean toward kindness and connection....

We will be known as the culture that feared death and adored power, that tried to vanquish insecurity for the few and cared little...

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  Stephanie Sugars
VOTE


Longwillow concurs!

xox

Midnight Special, LeadBelly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cu7gafphe9M

xox

Joy is the happiness that doesn't depend on what happens.

~ Brother David Steindl-Rast

www.gratefulness.org

xox

Vote your conscience.

Vote for the children unto seven generations and beyond.

Vote for all sentient beings.

Vote for all ecosystems and communities throughout our beautiful shared planet.

Vote for the earth, waters, the air all breathe, the fires of love that burn in our hearts for all - past, present and future.

Vote like there is a tomorrow or there may be no tomorrow.

Vote!

Vote for truth,...

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  Stephanie Sugars
Happiness runs in a circular motion


Irish Autumn

photograph by Susanna Braswell

xox

Love is like a little boat upon the sea:

xox

Mister Rogers Remixed

Garden of Your Mind

PBS Digital Studios

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFzXaFbxDcM

xox

I am still alive and having dropped my to-do list, left-brain, executive function, I am finding my true self further unveiled.

I am full of love, joy, appreciation, humor, wit, puns and sleep...except now when I rose to deal with dry mouth. Not asleep, but exploding with gratitude and a desire to let you know, I'm more than okay, all is perfect. The care of my Circle of Care and hospice team...

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  Stephanie Sugars
Love You Forever, Bye for now

All Souls Night - Loreena McKennitt – Listen with lyrics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKfbVAO6VGA

xox

Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.

~ Octavia Butler

www.gratefulness.org

xox

Physically I'm still alive, though much diminished.

Practically, mentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually I have died though.

I’ve let go of most of my end-of-life practical preparations, dropping the obituary...

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  Stephanie Sugars
Hold Me

Links to Gotta Travel On in comments below.

This song is playing in my inner ear now!

Hold Me

Izetta Smith

Hold me, hold me, never let me go.

Hold me like the leaves on the ends of the branches.

And when I die let me fly, let me fly,

Through the air like the leaves when they’re falling.


Hold me, hold me, never let me go.

Hold me like the stars in the sky high above me.

And when I die let me fly, let me fly,

Through the sky like the stars when they’re falling.

xox

Ye (Radical) Faerie Hymnal lyrics here:

http://www.radfae.org/hymnal#Hold%20Me

Listen here:

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  Stephanie Sugars
change in status

"Ye Gads!"

~ Zanetta Shinn, The Music Man

xox

Seem to be rapidly moving toward death.

Seems like I spend most of my waking hours dealing with practical details, training and orienting caregivers and writing or amending instructions and notes. Still spend many more hours sleeping than waking. Basic bodily needs are few, but cared for by my Circle of Care members and hospice team. Hospice nurse trained Circle members last Wednesday.

Among other projects, I'm working on updating and upgrading a light blue binder to serve as a nexus point for Circle of Care.

Several months ago the Circle expanded...

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