All will be well and all will be well and every kind of thing shall be well.” (Julian of Norwich)
peace, ease, release, be love.
tension, fear, adventure, companionship, fart of poop, commode.
ativan, uneven loud breathing, not eating.
shit is my earthly focus, no coverage for nights and thanksgiving and two days around. Paid caregivers turn up.
Know my care circle members will not be able to stay around the hospital bedside (due today between noon & 2).
Paid caregivers will come to care for me.
Yet, when I'm more actively dying and have lost conscious, more circle members and close beloveds will gather too.
My treasured hospice nurse Thalia says I'm in the red zone. I say, I'm emerging through death's door into eternity, clear light and beauty.
Body fails - cannot sit without aid, cannot stand without a strong body assisting me, cannot walk without assistance, Bed has chux and soft cloth loose diapers for frequent productive farts. I'm drinking water from a syringe and a bit of food with magnesium.
All is well!
All is love and light and that allows me to hold the physical pain, the fear, the concern, the letttig go.
Just be, Stephanie