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  Anthony Fairlie
Anthony Fairlie
  Anthony Fairlie

I'm back.

Well, I could give you all an excuse why it has been so long since I blogged last. The truth is things came up and I just didn't feel like writing anything. Here is a recap of some of the things we have done. Elizabeth and I celebrated 25 years together on July 31st. Then the weekend after that we the family minus Caleb and Kylellen,( They couldn't get away) Plus my sister LuRie. Went to the Omaha zoo, for 2 days. It was a great time to get away and enjoy the animals and hanging with the kids. I should also mentioned they were the 2 hottest days we could have asked for , but we did ok with it.

On the cancer front. I had a cat scan to see how the tumors were responding to the chemo. That was on Monday the 20th, we got the results back on Wednesday the 22nd before my chemo treatment. The results were good, all the tumors had shrunk, to varying degrees. Unfortunately we, Elizabeth and I were disappointed. We had begun to build up false hope the they would be all but totally gone. The chemo doctor reminded us that I will never be cancer free. I will be on chemo for the rest of my life. The only way I will get off chemo is, 1. the chemo isn't working, 2. my body can' take it any more, 3. I just want to be done. So sooner or later cancel will get me. So we have been working through this with the understanding barring a miracle I will die from this. I'm not discounting a miracle, ( I find it best not to tell The Lord what He can and cannot do) but we cannot operate on that presumption. Just a note, I use I and we interchangeably, I when I am talking about my thoughts, and we when I am speaking about Elizabeth and me. So we are working through this reset of the situation. So for now we are going forward with chemo. It is shrinking the tumors and I am tolerating it pretty well. I am able to keep working. I'm not getting violently ill like some do. So I will keep going as long as the Lord allows. Furthermore the Doctor said I could take a short break if I wanted. I could take a month or two off from chemo and pick it back up. Of course the cancer could regrow she couldn't say either way. But that is an options too. For now we are staying the course with chemo and work. We are spending time thinking about the future and working through that, please pray for us as we do that. Thanks for that.

You know as grim as this may be, and it is. It is not as bad as it could be. I remember on a number of occasions saying that I hope when I die I will be around to say good-bye. I have watched as my mom and aunts withered away for dementia. And I hoped to be alive and alert so I could be with people, so far God has answered my prayers. It may not be so at the very end, but for now I am able say and do things with total awareness and that is a gift. Plus I really don't know how long I have, maybe six months, maybe 2 years like the doctor thought, maybe longer 5-6 years. But I know that in a short time I will die. I think of the young girl last winter who was driving home from a yoga class in Iowa City, who was killed when a man decided to drive south on the north bound interstate. She was in her early twenties and engaged to be married. Do you suppose when she got in her car that night that she had any idea she would not reach home. So knowing it is coming is a gift too. So while it may not look like all sunshine and roses for me, God has been very gracious to me and Elizabeth. In addition Elizabeth and I really want to make the time we have left, whatever it maybe, count. We are hoping to go visit Esther in October, I have not been to her school and it will be a nice little get away for a few days. We may visit more people too, we will see. Well that is all for now. Remember God is good all the time.

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