reminiscing. everything in one way or another reminds me of her. desperation consumes my days. tears fill my nights. silence lingers in the hall. the pitter patter of her little feet and the sweet chitter chatter that fell off her lips like honey resonates so loud in my dreams that i awake to see where she is. the RockStar house is empty, never to be filled with her sweetness again.
six months today. six long and short months. her precious little body gave out. she greeted her maker. i can still hear the deep sobs that rang out in our home. the smell of death. the sigh of relief. immense pain of a brain tumor gone forever. a journey taking a turn none of us wanted.
yesterday i went into the Dessert Rose Salon. i have only ventured there one other time since having my hair cut so radically short. so short to match LeeLee. an overwhelming wave of emotion ran thru me. stoic i watched as my precious daughter had ten inches cut off for Locks for Love. yes we have been forever marked by this journey. later i sat at my desk sobbing. pictures of the beauty litter my desktop in hopes that her memory never fades.
sleep evades me as i contemplate those last moments we shared with her. funny the 6 month milestone falls during Holy week. some comfort is found there.
i miss her.