Sterling Chronicles · Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Thanksgiving Prep

Day 111

Thanksgiving Preparation

 

I came down stairs rather irritated for no particular reason at all. Just part of what my days consist of as late. Regardless I need to start putting together the Thanksgiving menu so that we can do our annual food shop on Friday. Thanksgiving here is a big deal. A.HUGE.DEAL. We cook, eat, laugh and begin dreaming of what Christmas is going to be like this year. Only I do not want to celebrate Christmas this year. Heck I do not even want to celebrate Thanksgiving. If there were a fast forward button I surely would use that option now. 

 

Usually I wold have posted on my FB page something I am thankful for everyday in November. Only I am not t*h*a*n*k*f*u*l. Now before you start penning emails, text messages and or private messages please hear me out. I am thankful for everything that God has blessed us with. EVERYTHING. But my spirit of thanksgiving is just very difficult to muster up at the moment. I am not thankful she is no longer with us. I am not thankful she got cancer. I am not thankful that her precious little life ended in such tragedy. However I am thankful that she is no longer in pain and dealing with all the issues that came along with the horrible buddy that grew in her brain. I am thankful for all the memories and fun we had in her last days. I am thankful that I will see her again. 

 

The view from where I sit this moment is of all her precious play things. Ironically they take up the space where we put up our live Christmas Tree that generally arrives the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It doesn’t feel like time to move them. Nothing feels right. Nothing is no longer the same. We have already celebrated 2 birthdays within the RockStar house without her. That was painful. That was rough. How are we ever going to get through Thanksgiving and then Christmas? Seems unfathomable. It will be here before we know it.

 

As I ask the kids of the house what they want to have for our feast they all start naming off things that were Sissy’s favorite. Only none of them realize everything they are choosing is her favorite things until I am a big bucket of tears.  This year my lap will be empty. My little holiday eating buddy is gone. I miss her terribly. We all do.

 

Back to meal planning I go. Creating a feast like none we have ever had. One without Sterling, one with all her favorite things. So this year I am t*h*a*n*k*f*u*l for renewed family bonds and the ability to continue to celebrate the life of our sweet Sterling Sky and the journey that has lead us here.

<3 Tante

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Shirley Renwick · Thursday, November 15, 2012

Dear Tanta and Rock Star Family
How my prayers and heart go out out to each of you for I too know how VERY hard each first is - I have gone throught so many of them:first without my Dad, then my beloved Memo, that Pops followed in a few years by our Nana and then within a one year span, my sister, her husband (who I always called my brother and then the very hardest of all my husband of 62 years Glenn what a void they all created and yet what joy fills my soul when I am reminded of their love, their laughter and all the blessed and wonderful times we shared - I know your hurt and I know that God will grant you the strength to get through all those first - the loss is always there but so is the love.  May you eventually feel more love than loss.  God Bless and keep each of you this Thanksgiving and Christmas season.

Shirley Renwick's
Cheryl Smith · Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Thank you for sharing your heart with all the pain and truth. It's hard to read but it must be so much harder to live it out each day.  It helps us to remember the journey that God has placed us on even when we want to get off, make a u-turn, or hit the fast forward button. May our prayers of comfort, strength & peace be the wind beneath your wings. Much love, Kevin & Cheryl

Cheryl Smith's
Narisa Hernandez · Wednesday, November 14, 2012

We LOVE you RockStar Family. My heart continues to ache. I am always thinking about you and sending many many Prayers for your Family.

Narisa Hernandez's