A Tante Speaks
October 8, 2012
First, on behalf of the entire RockStar family. Thank you. Thank you for being here with us today to celebrate the wonderful little person that Sterling was. Thank you for all the love and support you have given us. We are eternally grateful.
For those of you who do not know me I am Jenn Kielsmeier-Boulagjame, Sterling’s Tante. I was thrown into the role of the family spokesperson and advocate early on in our journey. A title I do not take lightly. Often I made difficult phone calls, had painful conversations and made split second decisions on behalf of Sterling and the entire family. I have continued to do these things even since Sterling’s passing. I would be lying to you if I said that it has been a fun job. The truth is, I wish that no one in my family would have to travel this journey at all. However, we are here because of a higher calling. There is a reason and a purpose and to try to take the pain away from us would be to take part of our journey away. This is now who we are. I continue to fill this role because it is my part in our journey. It is who I am.
From a very young age Sterling was referred to as my mini me. Mimi spent a great deal of time with LeeLee when she was first born and dubbed her that from the get go. Sterling reminded Mimi of me. Even as bitty baby Sterling and I mirrored mannerisms. My brother, Sterling’s Papa would even comment “Sterling is so much like you it is annoying.” I met Sterling for the first time when she was 10 months old and immediately I knew why she earned the nick name. I indeed was starring at my mini me.
Sterling was very much my kindred spirit. We often communicated silently. Our minds melding in an odd unexplainable way. To try to tell you how it worked or what it was like is futile. We just simply got each other on every level. A piece of me left the day she went to heaven. Not just a small insignificant piece but a large piece. A hole in my heart is what I am left with. I have forever been changed by this journey. Part of me forever lost.
Sterling’s love, tenacity and precociousness filled a room like a fine perfume. As I look around this room even now I see how many people she touched. Many she had never even met. Those of us who were lucky enough to have interacted with Sterling know firsthand how special she was.
My favorite moments with her were the quiet ones. The ones where very few words were uttered. We would love on each other and just be. Then there was the chocolate cake moments. That girl could out eat anyone when it came to chocolate cake and she knew Tante would always provide her with some. Her very last outing was to the cupcake store. She bossed Apple Jakie, Momma and myself around like nobody else could. She enjoyed 2 bites of her chocolate cupcake and we enjoyed her.
To know Sterling was to love her. The way she lit up a room with her sweet tiny voice, and those irresistible, big, brown, eyes. A girl who knew exactly what she wanted and could tell you how to get it for her. Our family misses her presence dearly already. We are heartbroken at our loss, we are a puzzle missing an intricate piece but as I said earlier we are on this journey because of a higher calling. I don’t know why God allowed this to happen, but I have faith in His plan for our family. Where this journey is leading us I am not sure, but I do know He has gone before us. We have said our goodbyes to Sterling’s earthly body and we have hope that we will see her again. As painful as it is to be without her, our journey continues with Sterling Sky in our hearts.