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Sterling Chronicles
We are Team RockStar!!

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New Normal

Day 14 

A New Normal

Two weeks. Two whole weeks. I got a text and then a phone call that Sterling had a brain tumor and was being admitted to CHOC to wait for brain resection (removal of the tumor). “A brain resection we can do this” I thought quietly to myself. After all us Hockenmeier’s are RockStars. Thus our journey took a new turn.

Early Sunday morning it was decided Sterling was going to have emergency surgery. We rushed and panicked some, as family gathered. Then the peace that passes all understanding flooded our souls and we knew she was in God’s hands. After all he knows exactly what is going to happen. Albeit a surprise to us it is not to Him. 

 

Her tumor ended up being fairly large, 1/4 of her brain to be exact. Our RockStar surgeon was very pleased with the outcome and ordered follow up CT’s and MRI’s. Although the first post up CT showed no tumor the MRI the next day showed a small piece remaining. So Tuesday she was off for another surgery. We learned yesterday that CT’s are not the best at detecting brain tumors and that is why we followed up with the MRI. Second surgery went well and we were told that she had a Total Gross Resection--- the BEST possible outcome one can have. No tumor remains. Elated we were.

 

Sterling spent several more days in PICU as we anxiously awaited the pathology report. Can you say stressful? We have likened it to being on an awful Ferris Wheel that never stops. Up, down, around and around we go. Waiting. When will our journey become more clear? When will our journey continue instead of being at a stand still? When will we begin to accept our new normal?

 

We then were moved to floor 3. The dreaded floor 3, Oncology Unit. With only a tad bit of information. No one wanting to fill us in here we sat in Oncology. More waiting. Our normal changed again. Our journey becoming clearly unclear. 

 

Then it finally arrived, day 13...the day of our medical conference with her Doctor. The day our journey continued into this new warped normal. Yes, Sterling Sky Kielsmeier has cancer. Our minds spun out of control. Our emotions were at all new levels of whack. Is this really happening? The resounding answer is yes. 

 

She has ETANTR which stands for Embryonal Tumor with Abundant Neuropil and True Rosettes.  A tumor that is cancerous. It occurs more often in females than in males. The tumor is very aggressive and resistant to chemo from what they know, there are

 

Had you told us, any of us, two weeks ago that these were the decisions Paul and Sarah were going to be making and we as a family would be supporting them 100%,  we would have not believed you. However this is what we are facing. These are the decisions the parents are making. The ones we are praying over. The ones we are agonizing over. The ones that are part of our journey

 

As you read this please pray for us. Pray for Paul and Sarah. For Bastien. For the grandparents. The aunts, uncles and cousins. This is weighing heavy on our hearts. All of our hearts. One thing we know for sure is that the God of the universe hears our prayers. The best thing you can do for each one of us is PRAY. 

 

We know our journey does not end here. We are waiting on the next step. The directions for our journey...and this dear loved ones is our new normal.

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