Sterling Chronicles
Sterling Chronicles · Mar 27, 2013 at 9:10 am · Published
6 months

3.27.2013

 

reminiscing. everything in one way or another reminds me of her. desperation consumes my days. tears fill my nights. silence lingers in the hall. the pitter patter of her little feet and the sweet chitter chatter that fell off her lips like honey resonates so loud in my dreams that i awake to see where she is. the RockStar house is empty, never to be filled with her sweetness again.

 

six months today. six long and short months. her precious little body gave out. she greeted her maker. i can still hear the deep sobs that rang out in our home. the smell of death. the sigh of...

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Sterling Chronicles · Mar 19, 2013 at 8:01 pm · Published
Remembering while pressing on

  I've been trying to sum up my recent thoughts to post an update on 'life'. Funny concept, challenging thing to try to explain.  For me, in a word, it's 'Hope'.  Regardless of what life throws my way, I have hope in my Lord, who is the 'anchor of the soul'.  How true those words are!
  A dear friend passed along to me a blog post of another dear soul going through extreme challenges.  He too has the same hope and in his post he confronts a lie we all have had to wrestle with! Below is the link, please do give it a read - it speaks exactly to the truth of what it is to go through...
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  Sterling Chronicles
Sterling Chronicles · Jan 27, 2013 at 10:10 am · Published
4 months short

There I was minding my own business. Checking my to-do list and calendar. Mentally planning out my day. When it hit me like a ton of bricks. Today is the 27th of January, that means, oh man. Really? Yes today marks the 4 month anniversary of Sterling's passing. These 4 months have played a wicked toll on our family. Our lives. Somedays we are barely surviving and others we seem to be ok. The grief process is still in full swing. Never knowing what is going to effect who at which time. It is often said those who love deeply grieve deeply. I honestly never knew how deeply I could love one...

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Sterling Chronicles · Dec 8, 2012 at 7:25 am · Published
Day 135

Two months ago today, on my 35th birthday, we celebrated the precious life of Sterling Sky. It seems like a dream. A false reality. Days go by and we are stuck in this odd time continuum. Words on this page cannot even begin to describe what we go through. Although it has been awhile since I have written I am reminded that it truly is a therapeutic action for me. 

 

Our lives have “moved on” I suppose. I hate that phrase. It does not describe what we are doing. We are merely surviving. Yes, surviving. Hanging on by a thread most times. Without our precious loved one. Kids are back to...

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Sterling Chronicles · Nov 14, 2012 at 12:40 pm · Published
Thanksgiving Prep

Day 111

Thanksgiving Preparation

 

I came down stairs rather irritated for no particular reason at all. Just part of what my days consist of as late. Regardless I need to start putting together the Thanksgiving menu so that we can do our annual food shop on Friday. Thanksgiving here is a big deal. A.HUGE.DEAL. We cook, eat, laugh and begin dreaming of what Christmas is going to be like this year. Only I do not want to celebrate Christmas this year. Heck I do not even want to celebrate Thanksgiving. If there were a fast forward button I surely would use that option now. 

 

Usually I wold...

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Sterling Chronicles · Oct 27, 2012 at 12:37 am · Published
Migraine

Those of you who suffer with migraine headaches like me, you cringe at the very word.  The impaired vision, (I often get an actual hole missing from my sight), followed by unbelievable pain.  I describe this fun experience to not only enlighten those who are fortunate enough to NOT experience them, but more importantly to describe what life is like now.
   It's 12:22am on Saturday, October 27th, and my baby has been gone for a month.  An entire month.  I feels all too real now, the loss so true.  Some of life has picked back up, some has not.  Emotions still run very high and no doubt will...
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Sterling Chronicles · Oct 15, 2012 at 3:38 pm · Published
What day is it again??

Wow time passes so strangely now. At times it feels as if it doesn't move at all and other times it flies by, unable to grab it back. As time DOES continue to march ahead, I wanted to post a little update.
   We have made it through the Life Celebration for Sterling, hard and beautiful as it was. Now comes the awkward task of trying to move forward, in our new reality, new normal. Have you ever tried a new dance before learning the steps? You're fumbling to keep up with the music, stepping on the feet of your innocent partner who's in the same boat, questioning if you'll ever get this down,...
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Sterling Chronicles · Oct 10, 2012 at 8:22 pm · Published
Mimi and Opa Speak

Good Afternoon and thank you to all for coming and sharing this Celebration Day of Sterling Sky Kielsmeier.  By way of introduction, we are JoAnn and Paul Kielsmeier- better known as Mimi and Opa.   We could spend hours if not days sharing stories and insight into her life but we will save most of those for the family blog in the months to come as our journey continues 

 

 

 

I am going to read to you the scripture that I was reading when Sterling breathed her last breath here on this earth. It is a scripture that has brought much comfort to me over the years, it is a "go to" scripture for...

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Sterling Chronicles · Oct 9, 2012 at 3:34 pm · Published
Heart of a Great Grandmother
As the other great grandma, I am sitting in my retirement home room, just ten minutes away, praying for my family at all levels. Having learned through many years' experiences of having to say goodbye, that I don't have to grieve for our precious little girl who is in a much better place. Oh, I'll miss her terribly and remember her often and treasure the one time we had together on Mother's Day.

My son, Sterling's Opa, was sitting with me when she decided to find out who I was. She climbed into Opa's lap as he explained to her that he was my "little boy". While she was thinking about it, I...
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  Sterling Chronicles
Sterling Chronicles · Oct 9, 2012 at 12:34 pm · Published
A Tante Speaks

October 8, 2012

Day 73

 

First, on behalf of the entire RockStar family. Thank you. Thank you for being here with us today to celebrate the wonderful little person that Sterling was. Thank you for all the love and support you have given us. We are eternally grateful.

 

For those of you who do not know me I am Jenn Kielsmeier-Boulagjame, Sterling’s Tante. I was thrown into the role of the family spokesperson and advocate early on in our journey. A title I do not take lightly. Often I made difficult phone calls, had painful conversations and made split second decisions on behalf of Sterling...

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